13th June (Edale to Crowden)
I've just walked the first hour. I'm sitting by a babbling brook at Jacob's Ladder. First cigarette of the day. ..ahhh.
9.15: Second stop on top of a bleak, misty mountain. I think I'm lost. Can't see a bloody thing. The path is really difficult to follow (first moan of the day). Managed to retrace my steps and I'm back on the Pennine Way. Haven't seen anyone else since I left Edale. All I meet is sheep. Still very foggy.
12:00: I'm completely f**king lost. I think I've been walking round in circles. My feet are killing me.
13.15: Finally met two other walkers who pointed me in the right direction. I've been walking for six hours and I'm not even half way there. I'm now at Snake Road, but two and a half miles from the point I'm supposed to be at. My map reading is CRAP!
16.30: Yep...lost again. I'm on a huge boggy moor with no landmarks, no path, no nothin'. The good news is I found my cigarette lighter. I reckon the search party will be out soon.
Later: Finally made it to Crows Ends B&B. I'm absolutely knackered. Just had a big dinner and a pint of Guinness. I'm going to bed.
Wednesday 15th June (Standedge to Hebden Bridge)
9.40: Standing on Black Stone Edge and it's very windy. I'm now using the Wainwright Companion instead of the Ordinance Survey guide book which seems easier to follow.
12.00: Studley Pike Monument. I've so far managed to stay on course. Just had my lunch. Never knew a ham sandwich could taste so goooood.
Later: Finished today's walk in 7 hours. I'm just off down the pub for me dinner.
Friday 17th June (Cowling to Thorton)
8.40: Just left the cleanest B&B ever. Not a speck of dust anywhere... weird. The husband wanted me to play his home organ but I said I was on holiday (actually I'm just a crap keyboard player).
11.00: Now standing on the highest point on Elslack Moor. Met another Pennine walker named Charles. I think he must be about 60. I've stopped for sandwiches and he's racing ahead. I'm over half way to Hawes now, so I'm taking the rest of the day easy.
Later: Arrived at Hawes, which is like a walker's Disneyland. There's tea shops, outdoor shops, muddy boots and Gortex as far as the eye can see.
Tuesday 21st June (Hawes to Thwaite)
10.30: On my way to Thwaite. It's pissing down with rain and I'm soaked to the skin. So much for waterproofs. It's five miles up then five miles down a really boggy hill. I walked for a while with me mate Charles, but now he's raced ahead.
Later: Arrived at the Thwaite B&B. My rucksack, boots and jacket are all dripping. What with the rain and the howling wind, today I felt a bit like Scott of the Antarctic. Tomorrow is a fifteen mile hike.
Wednesday 22nd June (Thwalte to Bowes)
8.30: This is my breakfast report before it starts raining. I'm on a ridge above the river Swale on my way to Bowes, the halfway Pennine stage. Just outside Keld, by a waterfan, the Kisden Force. Noisy bugger or what!
14.00: Had pub lunch at the Tan Hill Inn, the highest pub in Yorkshire. Just going through Sleightholme Moor, bit of a shortcut...and why not?
Later: I'm staying at the Ancient Unicorn Inn and I think I'm the only guest here. It's dead old but I've got me own bath and even a telly...luxury!
Saturday 25th June (Langdon Beck to Dufton)
9.30: It's a warm, misty morning. I'm on the banks of the river Tees by Cronkley Scar. Got to do a bit of rock scrambling.
13.00: The path goes up and up to the top of an escarpment called High Cup. It's supposed to be a spectacular view but unfortunately it's so foggy you can't see a bleedin' thing. Time for a sandwich...ah, tuna again.
Later: Disaster struck again today. Managed to lose the path in the fog and did my usual trick of walking round in circles. Ended up side-stepping down the hill into a huge valley. Walked for hours until I finally found Bow Hall, tonight's B&B.
Even later: The farmer and his family had all gone to a wedding, so I was left on me own. "Right," I thought, "I'll just stick my boots in front of the electric fire to dry them off."
Came downstairs 15 minutes later and me boots were on fire. The dining room was thick with smoke and the insoles of me boots were all curly and melted...oops! Luckily, Bow Hall is still standing.
Sunday 26th June (Dufton to Garrigill)
9.00: Left Dufton, just making my way up Dufton Pike then Brown Burr Hill and Green Fell. It's all open countryside, full of sheep, and it's raining, surprise, surprise.
12.30: After crossing GreatDunfell and Little Dunfell, I've come across a wind shelter, the perfect place for a fag. It's so windy up here, you really have to lean forward...quite exciting. I've got one more big hill to climb and then I should reach some cover.
19.30: Just arrived in Garrigill. What started out as an excellent day ended in disaster. Got completely lost again, completely! Changed my mind half a dozen times about which way to go. Walked a massive circle in really wild moorland and still couldn't find the path. Found a little rescue shelter and was seriously considering kipping there for the night. You get really desperate because there are no landmarks to be seen, no tracks, no buildings, no people. In the end, I just followed the compass North until I eventually came to a road leading into Garrigill. It's taken me over ten hours just to walk 15 miles. Some holiday!
Monday 27th June (Garrlgill to Slaggyford)
9.00: Sitting on top of a hill, smoking. Weather's good but still suffering from the aches & pains of yesterday. Moan, moan, moan.
13.45: I'm in the middle of a field of butter-cups. Time for a sandwich...ah...tuna again.
Later: Arrived at Slaggyford B&B. Unfortunately they've had no running water since Friday, due to a leak in the pipes. I've got two pints of water to wash myself & my socks in. This is the kind of top class accommodation Mansi books for me - I don't know!
Friday lst July (Bellingham to Byrness)
8.00: Stayed in a real posh hotel last night in Bellingham. Got chatting to a couple of bikers from Manchester...very macho.
Later: Arrived in Byrness. Not too bad a walk today - fourteen and a half miles. Just girding up my loins ready for tomorrow's epic journey of seventeen and a half miles...the longest yet.
Saturday 2nd July (Bymess to Uswayford Farm)
10.30: Started the day with a really steep climb. Across Byrness Hill up to Windy Crag, Raven's Knowe and now I'm on the border of Scotland. Apparently there are supposed to be fine views, but once again, it's too misty to see anything.
Later: It rained, I got very wet, then dry, then I walked in the wrong direction for an hour. I then walked back, couldn't find the B&B, then I did. For dinner we had minced beef and potatoes...very nice...NOT.
Sunday 3rd July (Uswayford to Kirk Yetholm)
10.30: It's the last day, still very misty. The path has been running along the English/Scottish border fence. Just found a little mountain rescue hut, perfect place for a fag.
12.45: Now on the low-level detour into Halterburn Head. Just a few more miles to go. It's time for me last Pennine Way sandwich. Corned beef & pickle or cheese & pickle. I hate pickle.
Arrived at Kirk Yetholm, the end of the Pennine Way. Believe it or not, there's a bloke practising bagpipes on the Village Green. I'm gulping down a nice cold bottle of Beck's. I think I need a new pair of feet.
The End